Dave spent hours out in the heat putting nets over the vines, and I don’t get it. What a lot of palaver! Does Dave seriously think the birds won’t break in if they really want to! They’re not stupid you know and they have a habit of sticking their beaks in where they don’t belong. So guess what! Their beaks are always pecking away at Dave’s precious grapes. I don’t like birds – I think they are noisy, angry beasts who can’t make themselves a proper meal. Yesterday a huge hawk got stuck in one of the nets and guess who Dave cajoled into getting it out – moi! Yep – where was the duty of care to fellow workers? The hawk could have ripped me to pieces, and there I was thrown to the wolves like a piece of raw meat. Anyway – I got the job done of course, and live to tell the tale. I’m yet to meet a bird I like – Cockatoos drive me mad with their squawking and carrying on, and parrots look kind of cute, but they are not much better.

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