Security! Where do you think you’re going with my wine?

I have been talking to Dave for 2 years now about security. He seems to rely on me to patrol the property and keep everything in order. Well Dave – like you, I’m not as young as I once was you know. And you confuse me anyway. One minute it’s Mac the marketing manager, all snuggly and nice – and then you expect me to become some sort of crazy attack dog. Frankly, I’m more likely to scare myself than anyone else.

And then you have me down at the shed posing for photos with all your wine, M blubbering on about sending it to Ireland – wherever the hell that is… And then I’m meant to be security guard and stop the big bloke in his orange vest loading it up and driving away with it. All too much – come on Dave. I did my best of course, staring him down. And then I turn around and see M with a big smile on her face waving as the dude drives away.

That’s it. No more security duties for me – back to marketing manager full time.