What’s wrong with food

Everyone keeps saying I’m obsessed with food. Unfair. I don’t know what they’re on about – Dave barely gives me enough to fuel my old engine and M keeps telling him to stop feeding me – I’m confused! Anyway, people who come into the cellar door are the ones who are obsessed with food. I think they should just have a quick drink from my bowl, maybe a liver treat and get on with the business of buying wine.

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